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Christopher Lee (Your Account) (Logout)

Hotel Flight Attendant

On a dark, late hotel van
Crew bag at my side.
Need to get some rest now
After that endless flight.

Up ahead in the distance
I saw the typical sight.
Our crew was ready but our smiles were thin…
It was a mind-numbing night.

Broken glass in the entrance
I heard the driver sigh.
I was thinking to myself,
This hotel is only one story high.

Then I picked up my crew bag
And I went on inside
There were dark stains down the corridor
My eyes had opened wide

Welcome to the hotel Flight Attendant!
Such a dusty place…
(such a dusty place)
Such a dingy place…
Plenty of crews at the hotel Flight Attendant!
Any time of year…
(any time of year)
You can find them here…

Their minds are cost-cutting twisted
When housing flight attendants.
They get a lot of pretty, pretty deals
But no common sense.

When they go on those road shows
This summer time,
They’ll stay at the Ritz
On the airline's dime.

So I went to my small room
Mattress covered in grime.
I wrote, "I haven’t seen this many bugs since camp when I was nine."
And I hear some cockroaches calling from far away…
Woke me up in the middle of the night
Just to hear them say,

"Welcome to the hotel Flight Attendant!
Such a dusty place…
(such a dusty place)
Such a dingy place…
Plenty of us at the hotel Flight Attendant!
And are you surprised?
(and are you surprised?)
Wait ‘till you see the flies…"

Asbestos on the ceiling…
The toilet bowl was cracked…
And I thought, We are all just prisoners here of our own contract.

And a short while later
I called for room service.
They refused to bring it in my room
Cause the fleas blocked their entrance.

The last thing I remember
The deadbolt lock would not turn.
I plan to file a TVLLOG just as soon as I return.

"Relax!" said an airline's voice,
"You are programmed to serve meals.
You can write up any place you like,
‘Cause we don't care how you feel!"

-- Christopher Lee

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