Jumpseatnews.com - United Airlines flight attendant resources

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I expect to be alive for about 77 years. This is about an average lifespan or so they say. Now, I can only type a certain number of words per minute. Multiply that by hours, then days, then years. Thus, I have a finite number of keystrokes remaining in my life. I'm not going to waste them answering certain kinds of emails.

I promise I'll read your email. I may not always answer. This may blow your mind, but I only check email once or maybe twice a day. I'm not addicted to carrying my silly smartphone with me. I prefer spending time playing with my son and daughter now. Yes, I am just a bad, anti-social person.

Questions and Answers

Q: I have Unimatic issues, can you help?
A: Yes, possibly. Depending on the issue. I've been answering Unimatic questions for over 11 years here and I like hearing about failed Java applets much better than anything. I find that Maker's Mark and Zanax also assist where needed in the Unimatic dept.

Q: Can you help me drop my trip on the 17th?
A: Go get your head examined.

Q: Why don't you publish more helpful information like CQ packets, furlough award names, briefing worksheets, vacation packets, etc.?
A: I'd love to....but I cannot because it's against United's company policy. Some of their lawyers are this site's best customers. You need to go to United's corporate intranet for those documents. I link to Flying Together pages and PDFs a lot, so you should still be able to find what you need. Try this page as a launching area. For those of you posting those company documents on other web sites, chat boards, or the facebooks, you can lose your job over this. Don't do it.

Q: Where is the Unimatic iPhone/iPad/Smartphone App?
A: We are currently not accepting any further beta-testers for the Unimatic connection app for iPhone and iPad. Thanks to everyone who requested a test account. ETA on when or if this will be available on a mass scale is unknown. We still have several challenges and I am told as much of the future changes to Unimatic as you are.

Q: I can't login to United's intranet or have other United computer issues?
A: Here's the number for the United Help Desk: (800) 255.5801 or (847) 700.5800. And be nice to them. They have a lousy job and get a lot of angry callers.

Q: I have an important issue/question/concern I need to speak to you about. What is your phone number?
A: You've got to be kidding.

Q: What's the super-secret direct number to the crew desk?
A: Yeah, right. Like they would give that to me!

Q: I forgot my Crew Lounge password!
A: Go here.

Q: Who or what is Bailey?
A: Ask your flying partner. Preferably someone who has been flying at United Airlines since 1999.

Q: Why do you maintain this website?
A: Because I enjoy it.

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