In the Aug 29 Onboard Updates, there's an article devoted to the problems passengers are having with filling out a crossword puzzle in the latest Hemispheres magazine.

No, I'm not making this up.  Read on.

Apparently, the clues for the 'Down' don't match the actual puzzle.  The 'Up' seems to be OK.  Oh no, I can feel it coming....  Here we go:

Onboard Updates is a small one page publication.  This issue contained five articles, making the Crossword Puzzle Crisis 1/5 of the article count.  Now, granted, it wasn't a large story---just a paragraph.  But still, isn't there anything else going on that could have filled the space?

Here are two items:

1. Substitute Story for Crossword Puzzle #1: In the past week, more than a few very frustrated Flight Attendants have been unable to connect to Unimatic because they keep receiving strange "Membership or Special permissions are required. Availability is limited by geographic region." error messages.  Yep, the letters keep coming in requesting our assistance with this.  Folks, forget checking FLTLOFs, trip schedules, and things like trading and submitting DSPFACs. 
   
   Look on the bright side, since you cannot arrange your schedule or use any work tools, you now have more time to figure out crossword puzzles!  Yippee!  (By the way, if anyone has heard of a tech workaround or AOL solution, let us know so we can tell everyone, thanks)
2. Substitute for Crossword Puzzle #2: IST.  More than a few of our flying partners are not being offered the IST training that could help them increase their earnings.  Since United just received proposals for exit financing of up to $3 Billion, perhaps we could have a few online IST courses so those non-IST folks can make a few bucks more and not get sideswiped by new hires this fall?  Pretty please?  With cherries on top?
   
   Tell SVP about this gem >

But why bother?  You can always prefer instead to stay up-to-date with the latest crossword puzzle situation.  I've included the article in full below:

If customer tells you he or she is having trouble working the crossword puzzle in the September Hemispheres magazine, they’re not alone. The publisher of Hemispheres has informed us that, due to a production mishap, the down clues in the crossword do not match the puzzle as printed. Copies of the affected issue will be boarded Sept. 1. Customers and employees who would like a copy of the correct puzzle can visit www.hemispheresmagazine.com.

DISCLAIMER: Onboard Updates does often have good articles.  So sorry for the rant session.  My coffee maker is broken and no Java (except the annoying AOL kind) was to be found this morning.  I took my medication but the above commentary was published before the pills kicked in.   Ah, now I feel them.  Yes, the calmness is flowing through my, I...I... YES YES YES, I understand now: when the Down clues don't match a puzzle in Hemispheres, I can see the gravity of that problem.  Yes, I understand.  Sulu understands, don't you Sulu?