TSA Theme Song

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All my bags are packed, I have my ID
A printed i-tin-erary
A boarding pass and major credit card
And I'll show you that my computer works
I'll shake my head at all the jerks
Whose crankiness is making this so hard

So frisk me to check for clues
Tell me to take off my shoes
Touch me, ask me what you need to know
'Cuz I'm leaving on a jet plane
Just stand in line and don't complain
And soon they'll let me go

It's embarrassing each time I hear
Detectors beep on my brassiere
It's under-wire so watch your hands, you punk
There's no hurry now my flight's delayed
It's all because somebody made
A joke and asked, So is our pilot drunk?

So frisk me to check for clues
Tell me to take off my shoes
Touch me, ask me what you need to know
'Cuz I'm leaving on a jet plane
Just stand in line and don't complain
And soon we'll get to go

Now it's time unless they're lyin'
One more line and I'll be flyin'
A random search and I'll be on my way
At the gate what's this I see?
My airline declared bankruptcy
They canceled every flight they had today

I'm pissed and I want some booze
Tell me where they took my shoes
Hold me back 'cuz there's one thing I know
I'm not leaving, there's no jet plane
Just 18 hours down the drain
Someday, we'll get to go

By: The Bar & Grill Singers