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I expect to be alive for about 77 years. This is about an average lifespan or so they say. Now, I can only type a certain number of words per minute. Multiply that by hours, then days, then years. Thus, I have a finite number of keystrokes remaining in my life. I'm not going to waste them answering certain kinds of emails.

I promise I'll read your email. I may not always answer. This may blow your mind, but I only check email once or maybe twice a day. I quit Facebook 2 1/2 years ago (sorry, you can't message there anymore) and I'm not addicted to carrying my silly smartphone with me. I prefer spending time playing with my son and daughter now. Yes, I am just a bad, anti-social person.

Questions and Answers

Q: I have Unimatic issues, can you help?
A: Yes, possibly. Depending on the issue. I've been answering Unimatic questions for over 11 years here and I like hearing about failed Java applets much better than sex. I find that Maker's Mark and Zanax also assist where needed in the Unimatic dept.

Q: Can you help me drop my trip on the 17th?
A: Go get your head examined.

Q: Why don't you publish more helpful information like CQ packets, furlough award names, briefing worksheets, vacation packets, etc.?
A: I'd love to....but I cannot because it's against United's company policy. Some of their lawyers are this site's best customers. You need to go to United's corporate intranet for those documents. I link to Flying Together pages and PDFs a lot, so you should still be able to find what you need. Try this page as a launching area. For those of you posting those company documents on other web sites, chat boards, or the facebooks, you can lose your job over this. Don't do it.

Q: Where is the Unimatic iPhone/iPad/Smartphone App?
A: We are currently not accepting any further beta-testers for the Unimatic connection app for iPhone and iPad. Thanks to everyone who requested a test account. ETA on when or if this will be available on a mass scale is unknown. We still have several challenges and I am told as much of the future changes to Unimatic as you are.

Q: Where is your Facebook page link?
A: We closed our Facebook account a long time ago. Facebook is a silly waste of time. Everything is instead published right here on our own website---what a concept! Interestingly, traffic to this site actually increased and has grown considerably since we close the FB account. Social media is BS anyway.

Q: I can't login to United's intranet or have other United computer issues?
A: Here's the number for the United Help Desk: (800) 255.5801 or (847) 700.5800. And be nice to them. They have a lousy job and get a lot of angry callers.

Q: I have an important issue/question/concern I need to speak to you about. What is your phone number?
A: You've got to be kidding.

Q: What's the super-secret direct number to the crew desk?
A: Yeah, right. Like they would give that to me!

Q: I forgot my Crew Lounge password!
A: Go here.

Q: I'm a Continental flight attendant. Can I access your site?
A: At the moment we cannot register Continental flight attendants for the Crew Lounge because of the file number / employee number issue. United's file numbers use only numerical. Continental uses both numbers and letters. That anal stuff matters to databases. Once United has sorted that out and merged them together into one main employee number schema type for everyone, we can make that happen. Sorry about that.

Q: Who or what is Bailey?
A: Ask your flying partner. Preferably someone who has been flying at United Airlines since 1999.

Q: Why do you maintain this website?
A: Because I enjoy it.

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