When United filed their 1113(c) motion to reject their worker's contracts, they announced this to all their employees via the usual news channels such as their corporate intranet.  Along with that announcement came various supporting documents designed to explain United's reasons for eliminating many of the current work benefits for each employee group.

The flight attendant employee group also has their own document.  Take a look at United's creative use of the English language to rationalize their proposed removal of many of our benefits and compensation.  Some examples:

Regarding United's proposal to raise our maximum LOF averages to 85 hours and raise international hours to 84/168/252, they state only the following:

Increasing average hours in lines of flying supports the company's productivity increase initiatives without negatively impacting on the FAs quality of life.

How the hell do they know it won't have a negative impact?  Did they fund a Think Tank study on this?

Here's their sole explanation on how all we bid for vacation days:

Same as pilots - FA knows vacation days in advance then bids trips contained within and that overlap vacation days.

This is a blanket, general statement.  People bid their vacation schedules for a variety of reasons, trip combinations, and scenarios.  For example: someone might not choose to bid domestic trip overlaps, but instead bid all international trips first because that's all they are willing to work, even if it doesn't provide for vacation overlap preferences first.  Silly example, but you get the point.

Here's one of their reaching-for-the-stars-use-of-the-English-language rationales regarding the proposed revision of defining domestic flying as applying to all 50 states, all North America, Central America and Caribbean basin:

Brings FA rules in line with Pilots and reduce expense of costly international pay, per diems and scheduling rules.

Re-read the example above and think how that would sound to the rest of the UAL employee workforce, not to mention a bankruptcy court.  In line with the Pilots?  I had to laugh at that.  Well, I guess forgot how all of us overcompensated pesky flight attendants really need a dose of reality and thus need to have our work rules adjusted to match those of the more reasonably compensated pilots!

You can read the rest of the document yourself. (.pdf)   It makes for an interesting read regarding the author's rationale of our work contract.