PLEASE NOTE: If you are suffering from a medical condition that would prevent certain body movements and/or cardiovascular exercise, please consult a medical professional before attempting to perform the following exercise listed in this article.

Please take your right arm and do the following:

1. Lift it up in the air.
2. Reach around toward your left shoulder.
3. Give yourself a nice pat on the back.

Now read the following sentence published in today's NewsReal:

For the month of May, the company reported its best operational performance -- ever...  "In our rich 76-year history, we have never run a better operation than we are running right now, and that couldn't happen
without the hard work and dedication of every employee in this company." --Andy Studdert, executive vice president and chief operating officer.

WHEREAS, we represent 1/4 of United's total workforce, and,

WHEREAS, we are the face-to-face contact for United's passengers, manage all events occurring inside the cabin between the closed/locked/sealed cockpit door and the tail section of every United aircraft from boarding to deplaning, and,

WHEREAS, we carry the responsibility for ensuring the safety and comfort of everyone, including 1Ks, UM's, TWOVs, deadheading pilots, grandkids visiting grandpa in Orlando, athletic teams, failed dotcom laptop toting "professionals" downgraded to Coach, the physically challenged, the mentally challenged, the nice honeymooners, the not-so-nice rock stars throwing yogurt, and every other size, shape, and color you can think of, and,

WHEREAS, we rely on 150% hard work and 50% ingenuity to produce a total of 200% effort in our jobs, and,

WHEREAS, our monthly bidding schedules are about as reliable as a seeing-eye-dog in a hamburger factory,

THEREFORE BE IT RESOLVED, that all of us clearly deserve the aforementioned pat on the back.  And a hell of a lot of respect to boot.