If there is any reason I would truly wish financial ruin upon a business, it's their choosing to add an automated voice system to handle customers who are simply trying to telephone them.  Talk about valuing the customer?  Give me a friggin break.

I spend a majority of my waking hours thinking on how to improve and make easier for people to access information electronically.  But there is overkill and dangerous territory with abuse of any technology or product.  These dumb automated voice systems are the best example I can think of.  I usually just mutter something that is so difficult to understand that I get transferred to a live human being.  Or better yet, I’ll hang up and do my business elsewhere.

On my last trip to Western Australia, one of the key features I noticed was that with almost every single business I dialed, the telephone was answered by a live human being.  No voice mail.  No machines.  No automated electronic computer masturbation.

Unfortunately, even Western Australia will catch up I'm sure with the U.S. soon and eventually all companies worldwide will partake in this annoying practice.

You know what I predict?  That soon enough, being unreachable will be the status symbol of the future---much like how carrying PDA's, cell phones, laptops, and always being REACHABLE is now.  I mean, since even the Domino’s delivery guy in Wichita, Kansas can be reached 24/7 and get stock quotes on his Bluetooth gizmo whatever, the I’m-Plugged-In-Reachable-Anywhere-Busy-Person pendulum has swung too far the other way.  It’s ready for a swing back.

Mark my words: The next status symbol will be having the power and freedom to be unreachable.

Or again, I'm just nuts on this early Tuesday morning and should probably quit ranting!!!  Better check my PDA, perhaps it will auto-remind me to shut up about this.

Anyway, here's the Washington Post article that triggered this soapbox rant:

Source: Washington Post
Author: Keith L. Alexander

The Delta Air Lines automated voice asks me if I want to check arrivals or departures, make a reservation or manage my frequent flier account.

"Reservations," I say.

I think you said you wanted reservations? Is that right?

"Yes."

While we're waiting I can take some of your information to save time at the other end.

And with that promise, I was sentenced to seven minutes of what many frequent fliers call automated-voice hell. Many airlines are cutting the number of reservation agents and adding voice recognition systems to save money. In December, Delta tweaked its automated system by removing the option of striking numbers on the key pad and allowing callers only to speak their travel plans.

Do you already have a ticket or reservation? Please say yes or no.

I sigh, then say: "No."

I'm sorry, but I didn't understand that. Do you already have a ticket?

The sighing must have confused the system. "No," I say sternly.

And you'd like to travel from which city?

"Baltimore," I say.

Okay, now tell me the name of your arrival city.

"Los Angeles."

OK. Jakarta, Indonesia. There are three airports serving Jakarta. Which airport do you want to fly into? Sukarno-Hatta, Halim Perdanakusuma or Kemayoran?

"No! Los Angeles!" I yell.

I didn't understand your request. Which airport in Jakarta do you want?

"Los An-ge-les!"

I'm sorry, I still didn't understand. Which airport in Jakarta do you want to fly into?

"Los Angeles," I yell again.

Frustrated, I hit the zero key hoping to be transferred to a reservation agent. Nothing.

I'm sorry, I still didn't understand. Which airport in Jakarta do you want to fly into?

All I can do is sigh.

I'm sorry, I'm still having trouble. Let me transfer you to an agent.

"Hallelujah," I say.

Delta officials say the voice recognition system saves time for travelers and agents. That's because it can direct passengers to the correct agent -- one who will have access to needed information, said Steve Scheper, the airline's vice president of sales.

"From surveying our customers, this is the best approach," he said.

But many frequent fliers have given up human contact unwillingly.

"The people who conceived the ideas of voice-activated response systems and of requiring callers to punch numerous buttons to make something happen should have things done to them which could not be described in a family newspaper," said Richard Larson, a Vienna-based certified public accountant. "The first company that promises a live person to speak to within 15 seconds of calling will deserve to have so much business, they will have to hustle to keep up."

David Keating of Chevy Chase is a fan of Southwest Airlines' system, which uses only live reservation agents. Although the carrier has reduced the number of telephone agents to 2,929 from 4,500 during the past two years, it said it has no plans to use a computerized system.

"We believe in human beings," said Southwest spokesman Ed Stewart. "People like actually talking to another person, particularly in the service industry. To converse and answer questions with another person is very important to customers."

Tom Lechner remembers standing in an airport recently and trying to change his American Airlines flight on his cell phone. The automated voice wanted his frequent flier number so he could go to the front of the reservation line. (He has more than 100,000 frequent flier points with the airline.) But the loud background noise combined with his dying cell phone battery prevented the voice recognition system from understanding Lechner's requests.

So Lechner, an accounting professor at the State University of New York at Oswego, stood in the middle of the airport yelling, "Agent, agent, agent!" in hopes of being transferred to a human. "When you need it to understand you the most, it doesn't. It's most frustrating and annoying," he said.

Spokesman Billy Sanez said most customers were satisfied with American's voice recognition system. "But we do get some complaints," he said. Sanez would not disclose how many telephone reservation agents the airline uses, but said financial problems over the past three years have forced the carrier to reduce staffing levels.

Paul Rosenthal of Arlington said he called US Airways' international reservations desk last week to check on his upcoming South America fight. The recording said an agent would not be available for 63 minutes.

"Like I'm going to put a phone to my head for sixty-three minutes," Rosenthal said. "They've now cut their agents to the point where this bankrupt airline can't even accept calls from people who want to give them money."

US Airways has reduced its number of agents to 1,470 from 2,330 in 2002. The airline has also recently begun using voice recognition systems for its frequent-flier and baggage-handling centers.

US Airways spokesman David A. Castelveter said that customers who want to reach an agent more quickly should call during non-peak hours such as late at night or weekends. "There are peaks and valleys," he said. "We try to staff for all eventualities. There are times when there will be a longer wait, which is why we're trying to direct so much of our business to our Web site."