Here's a story that could only happen in the electronic age:

The morning of November 5, 2004, I needed a new commentary to replace the one about the U.S. election results. As usual, United is never short of material to comment on, so I decided to write about the recent Section 1113 scheduling motion announcement in NewsReal.

But plain text is boooring... So I created a graphic to appear with the article. But I needed a funny graphic. And as you no doubt have already read the Section 1113 Summary, you know that this stuff ain't exactly funny.

The result: The Screw-O-Meter.

The Screw-O-Meter tries to balance a bit of humor with a hard kick of nasty reality that flight attendants (and other UAL employees) are having to deal with yet again as they face the bankruptcy music.

First Stop: FRA

Several weeks after I published the story, Screw-O-Meter began showing up in Germany, as it was published in an Frankfurt E-NEWS newsletter sent to FRA-based flight attendants by the local AFA office over there. The more I thought about it, the funnier it became to me. Remember, we all take crossing vast distances for granted. Ditto for email, internet, and all that other electronic digital ones and zeroes mumbo jumbo. But, if you jump back to the early 90's (or anytime before that) and the idea of someone's goofy graphic quickly appearing on the other side of the earth was pretty amazing.

But as silly as the graphic was, it illustrated what I believe many UAL employees to be currently feeling. And not just United employees---look at the poor US Airways folks. Aren't you glad we didn't merge with that mess?

Next Stop: BOS

By now, UAL should know better than to mess with BOS-based flight attendants. That crazy city (which still can't complete a road project after how many friggin years!) loves doing things like dumping tea overboard to make a point. And so, I was not half-suprised to read the following paragraph yesterday from a publication called 'Beantown News':

Management of the Boston Domicile requested that the following picture be removed from the AFA bulletin board in the domicile. While we feel that this picture reflects the true sentiments of many Boston Flight Attendants, based on the demands of United’s most current term sheet…we encourage everyone to formulate their own opinion. For those who may not be able to receive the picture because of email limitations…the picture is title “screw-o-meter” and indicates a level reading of “very high” the picture is as follows:

The above paragraph was of course followed by ever-faithful Screw-O-Meter, looking pretty good I must say for having traveled around the planet several times.

Now, I have not heard the other side's (management's) version of the Screw-O-Meter removal story, but if the above paragraph is in fact correct, then somebody needs to get their head screwed on a bit tighter.

Bigger Fish to Fry

Let's help screw it in:

First of all, we're all getting screwed, including even those who operate the precious bulletin boards. This bankruptcy nightmare is different that usual UAL issues and idiosyncrasies F/As complained about in the past. It has gone far beyond the Goodwin & Co. decisions, the WHQ decisions, and the recent wages/work rules slashes (read them and weep) the first time around.

It's not all management's fault; not by a long shot. Look at the public's concern for us: crapola. It's all about paying the cheapest fare possible, and nobody gives a rats ass about whether or not they are helping to destroy airline workers' paychecks. So, purty-please with cherries on top, give the troops a break. If a few F/A's think a Screw-O-Meter accurately says how they are feeling, well, then heck, leave it at that... don't we have bigger fish to fry right now?

Besides, is Screw-O-Meter that bad of an image to warrant an ordered removal? The needle is in the 'Very High', but not the 'Extreme', position anyway! It was published on this website set to 'Very High' and not 'Extreme' because that actually makes it funnier. And it also conveys a hint of optimism that although crappy, things could and may become far worse. Ever see Spinal Tap? Well, the Screw-O-Meter could go to '11'.

Lastly, forcing a few already burned-out and frustrated group of employees to take down a silly graphic makes no sense even from a management perspective. Like the Great Jane Allen Rebuttal of 2004, it will most likely draw even more attention to a reactive decision made in a domicile that already has a history of hijinks between UAL management vs. AFA in the crew lounges.

Again, aren't their bigger fish to fry right now?