Okay...this is not a rehearsal.  Everybody ready.

Standby now.

Ready?

Up in 5...

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Cue Lights!

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Cue announcer!

Ladies and Gentlemen, I give you our man of the hour: Steeeeeeephen Wolf!

Cue applause!  Standby Violins!

"US Airways is facing a perilous future. It is neither a low-cost, low-fare airline, nor a full scale, global network carrier,'' US Airways CEO Stephen Wolf told the media yesterday.

Now we've seen it all---United Airlines wishes to purchase US Airways for 12.3 billion from a CEO who doesn't know specifically what his own company is or does!  In what has to be a desperate plea to the Justice Department, Chairman Stephen M. Wolf told a congressional committee that 45,000 jobs and community air service are at stake in the company's proposed merger with United Airlines.

Cue Violins!  Up full!

He also mentioned that there is "no place'' for the company in the airline industry unless the government allows it to merge with United Airlines.  By his own admission, US Airways is "quite stark" and thus necessitates a merge with United Airlines.

Well how did US Airways get quite stark in the first place, Monsieur Wolf ?  Any why should the public have to pay the price for any previous airline mismanagement?

Cue applause!

This proposed US Airways-UAL deal would consolidate 50 percent of the U.S. air travel market into two companies!  Of course that will give a 'stark' company like US Airways a place in the airline industry.  Gee, what a nifty idea!

Cue music!  Play images of  Braniff, Eastern and Pan Am flying off into the sunset.  Superimpose Wolf and Goodwin's photos in place and merge mug shots together.

Cue music, up full!

Aaaaaand OUT!